A man was arrested today after what is thought to be a serious terrorist attack on Bobbin Hood International Airport.
We understand a man was seen inflating a spent crisp packet before then going on to pop the device.
The attack led to the closure of the airport, and although no serious casualties were reported, early eye witness accounts indicate "several people may have been startled".
A spokesman for Bobbin Hood Airport issued the following statement:
"It is our belief that some time between 09:45 and 10:15 an as yet identified man was observed inflating an empty packet of undetermined corn-based snacks before exploding the device between the palms of his hands"
Later this morning amateur video footage emerged showing the assailant munching on what we now believe to be a packet of 'Scampi Fries'. Upon finishing the snack he can be seen to raise the bag to his face in order to inflate it. He then proceeds to bust the bag causing a loud 'popping' sound. You can see members of the public closest to the blast being slightly startled as the device is detonated.
Security services immediately apprehended the man and a statement has been issued.
"We now have the man in custody and he is currently being questioned with the hope we can determine the motive for the attack. We treat these bag poppings very seriously, it's a miracle no one was more seriously startled"
A CPS spokesman also confirmed "This individual will feel the full wrath of the UK justice system, no resources will be spared"
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OK, so the above news article is clearly fabricated and indeed totally ridiculous, however it is not a million miles away from what is happening out there in the real world right now.
Unless you've been in a nuclear bunker (or a CPS judge's house) for the past few months you will be aware of the #TwitterJokeTrial and the fact that an appeal against the conviction of Paul Chambers has just been overturned in court.
But if you have, here is a link to the story: Twitter Joke Trial
Long story short, Paul posted a joke on his Twitter feed about blowing up the airport, 4 days later a member of the airport staff found it by doing a random search on Twitter, reported it to the police, and Paul was arrested.
Anyone who knows Paul through the site or even indeed just reads the comment in context can see it is no more than a flippant remark at worse. Yet this remark, and the subsequent prosecution, has destroyed a promising career and made it virtually impossible for him to find a new job.
At the appeal Judge Davies described the Tweet as "menacing in its content and obviously so. It could not be more clear. Any ordinary person reading this would see it in that way and be alarmed."
Although popular opinion might suggest otherwise, I like to consider myself an 'ordinary person' and I can assure you, upon this reading the Tweet I was neither menaced or alarmed by it's content. I took it exactly as it was meant, just an fictional articulation of the frustration felt by Paul at the prospect of not being able to fly to Northern Ireland to meet his now girlfriend.
People use Twitter in different ways. For many, myself included, it is just a medium which allows thoughts to spill from their head out into the digital ether. It's a release, better out than in as they say. For me the whole joy of tweeting is the spontaneity of the experience, if I have to start considering and censoring my Tweets then it defeats the object. At the end of the day I'm not forcing people to read my ramblings and vented frustrations, if they don't like it they can unfollow, block, or dare I suggest...stop reading!
The thing that concerns me most about this whole affair is, if this judgement stands, where does it stop?
I overheard a lady on the train this week saying "I'm going to kill my husband when I get home". Should I have been frozen with dread to be sat so close to a crazed killer? Should I have called the police so she could be apprehended at the next stop?
And lads, next time you are out for a few beers in a crowded pub and are feeling a bit peckish, think vary carefully before uttering the words "I could murder an Indian".
Sounds silly doesn't it,and that's exactly what it is, silly. Yet the CPS persist and Paul's conviction stands, for now at least anyway.
Let us hope in the end common sense will prevail.
If you have been affected by the issues raised in this Blog you can find details of how to make a donation to the #TwitterJokeTrial fund at: Joke Trial Fund
